If you needed any more evidence that we are doomed as a civilization, this ought to do it.

Yes, that’s right: for just eighty-two dollars and ninety-nine cents (plus $2.95 shipping!), the “iPod Stereo Dock Speaker and Bath Tissue Holder” can be yours.

And just in case the idea of a toilet-paper holder with an iPod dock isn’t good enough for you, it gets better. It’s portable. Yes, you can remove it from the wall mount, fold away the toilet-paper mounting ears, and use it as a portable speaker system. Because really, who wouldn’t want to carry around a toilet-paper holder?

From the list of features:

• Perfect way to enjoy your favorite music in ‘any room’
• iPod dock features four integrated high performance moisture-free speakers for fine clarity and sound
• Dock charges your iPod while playing music
• Compatible with iPod shuffle and other audio devices with audio selector
• Integrated bath tissue holder can be folded as stereo dock
• Requires AC power (AC adapter included)
• Easy to remove from wall mount
• Two tweeters for highs
• Two woofers for lows